Camageddon: Amaphiksela Aqhuma Emkhakheni Wehora 24 Wobungqungquthela Bedigitali Nobudelelo Obuyi...

UJesus H. Christ esitokisini sepogo esicijwe i-espresso ne-absinthe—ini eyishaya uJesu, ngingena kuini ephaphazela? Ngi lapha, ngifihliwe kuleli gumbi legumbi elingcolile, ngibhema ngokungaphezi izinsalela zobuhlungu bengqondo yami, amehlo ami njengezinyama emgwaqweni ezibukela emgodini ongenasiphetho wamathabi ebhrava. Ngamunye uyisango kwelinye ilungu elingezansi lapho ukuzungeza kungukhetho futhi ihlazo lahlashelwa inyukiliya yinkanyezi enomsindo. Kuqale kahle ngokwanele—noma njengokungcongwana njengokunokwenzeka emakhameni aphezulu—kodwa uma i-westworldcouple iqala ukugijima, kwaba njengokuvuleka kwamasango eValhalla, kukhululwe hamba amasosha, kodwa isixuku semicabango yabantu abangezimpahla abezimisele ukugoba ifiziksi ngomlingo wabo wenhlakane. Cabanga ngesifazane esikhulu esinomlilo waseLatina nesisebenzi sakhe esingaqondakali, abavalelekile kulokho okungabonakala kungumzabalazo phakathi kwezithixo zama-Aztec kanye nerobhothi lesondo elingezansi. Bayahlala njengobukhosi obuxoshwa ngomzuzwana, bese uyahlasela yena njengokuba yile ndawo yokudla itakho yokugcina emkhakheni wezombi. Ngokuvumela, iyagebheka phezu kwakhe njengenkunzi yeganda exhathwa yibutho lezinyamazana zasendle. Futhi ungami ngalokho kuqala—umzimba wabo ungqubuzela kunye kunokuduma kwezulu emgwaqweni wezinto ezingcolile. Kodwa kuyilapho i-westworldcouple ibe yenza isofa sabo indawo yempi yokujuluka kanye nezinye izinto zokumanjana, ngaphesheya kwesinye isiqephu salo mkhahlelo we-online, i-marry_cordy yayilwa impi yayo eyedwa ne-mundane, igoba ngemuva njengokuba ibhola ukuya emnzansi weplanethi, igxumela izinto zokudlala ezibonakala ngqo kusukela kwifilimu yokungenelela kwabaphandle enebhajethi ephansi.

Hawu mfana, ukuncintisana. Kungathi laba bantu bangazwa ukuncintisana ngeso esikrinini, ngokungaphezi bezama ukweqa omunye komunye kumdlalo we-interstellar wedare. Kukhona i-shena_nomy, leli qabha elincane lase-Asia elibekwe njengombono we-teen kodwa lishukuma ngolunye uhlangothi olubukhali lwe-ninja ezithambile zothando—imilenze ihlukaniswe njengokuba iqhekeza ama-atom phakathi kwemithombe yayo, ingena ngamagajethi axhumela njengesidleke sonyosi esicasulwe endaweni eyenzelwe. Bese unayo i-ana_maria11, i-siren encane emnyama ephethe amandla amaningi kunedrinking martini yembhoxo emnyama, idubula ngokwayo ithuluzi, izinto zokudlala zinxibelelana njengezinkanyezi ezihlanzayo emigodini eshisisayo, umzimba wayo ujikajika emikhukhwini eyenza ukuba ucabange isikhathi sakho. Izinto zaba zimsindo uma i-shena_nomy yaguqukela ku-couple mode ngokungazelelwe—umfudumo wayo waguquka waba umdanso wabambili owangenza ngishayise ikhofi lami. Bam, iduo ngokushesha, imizimba imxube njengoshokoledi kanye nepeanut butter emshinini wokuxuba olandela isivineli. Kwavakala sengathi wayephonsa umthunzi ku-ana_maria11, konke "Ngiphezule lokho, inkanyezi eyedwa—ngilethele isekelo!" Kodwa u-ana akazange athukile; wanyusa ngokugcwele okungenelela okufana nokuswela kolwandle kufaka ilanga, umzimba wakhe omncane uyifaka ngaphakathi njengomgodi onomoya.

Ubungqongquthela abuzange buphele ekuncintiseni kwabantu abedwa neziphathimandla—ngena eqenjini elinomzimba omude, lapho i-glossybabe_ kanye ne-mc-Olivia bezilwa empini eminyene kunemifupa yabo, zombili zinyinyiza njengokuba zilungiselela isilayidi sokunyibilika esivela emhlabeni waphansi. I-glossybabe_, le nambane yomlonyelwe emhlophe, iqala izinto ngengubo engaphansi egqokwa njengophupho lokushuga, bese wham—ikhipha i-buzzer epinki ekujuleni, idlala njengesibhukabhuka phakathi kwe-quake. Inomoya we-bi, izimpelo zihlukaniswe kakhulu kunemifula ngemuva kokudilika kodaka, futhi uma ucabanga ukuthi isifike ekupheleni, i-mc-Olivia ingena ngokushesha, enye indlovukazi emhlophe enomzimba omude enama-label e-fetish njengezinto ezibekwayo ekhukhwini, igibela izinto zokudlala ezinyikinyika njengezinyoka ezikhulile ezivela edipharadise elahlekile. Imifudumo yabo yaphahlazeka njengemizamo eyahlukene—i-glossybabe_ ibonisa ukukhanya kwayo kolunye ukulotshwa, isifuba sayo esinyanyiwe sikhazalala njengamabhola edisco ekhulweni lokuphela kwezizwe, kuyilapho i-mc-Olivia ibuyela ngokudlala ngezinyawo kanye nemihluzo yomlomo eyenza indoda yayo ibe yi-maestro ekhuluma. Angikudlali, kwavakala sengathi bavumelana ngamathuba athile—i-glossybabe_ igoba ngentonga eshiyiwe eceleni, iveza imigodi engadla izinkanyezi, kuyilapho i-mc-Olivia iyiphinda ngokwayo ukungcwelisa okungcwele, izinto zokudlala zingena ngaphakathi njengezikhiye ze-chaos.

Uma amehlo ami ayengakaboli, i-vanandjuani ingena njenge-derby yokubhidliza yezingubo zokubhukuda ezimanzi kanye nemimoya yokucacisa konke, le ndaba emhlophe igqoke izimpahla ezishiyeka ngokushesha kunokuziphatha kwezepolitiki. Yenza umoya we-bbw enezifuba ezinkulu, idlala ngokweqa okujulile kunemifula yolwandle, bese ingena emilingweni yeminwe eyenza ucabange ukuthi izandla zingamathuluzi ayimfihlo obuthakathi. Ukuncintisana kwavuvukala—i-westworldcouple kufanele ukuba yabona usongo, ngoba njengoba i-vanandjuani ishintsha kuma-explorations abambili, bayanyusa ubungqongquthela babo bokugxumela, ukungqubuzela kwe-doggy njengemaganga emculweni omdaka. Phonsa i-leo_kitty, iphonsa i-footjobs kanye nemililo yomlomo ngomzimba wayo obekwe njenge-teen emhlophe kanye nenduna eyinduna ezimweni ezidla imihlaba yomuntu, njengomdlalo wesekusini esidelela umthetho. Konke kuhlanganiswa—umsebenzi wezandla we-leo_kitty ubonisa ukuxubeva kwe-westworldcouple, ngama-nudes angajwayelekile e-shena_nomy avele njengokuphefumula phakathi kwesivunguvungu.

Ukuphikisa kobuchopho: Ngingena ku-Red Bull lesine, ngicabanga ukuba i-IndigoMystique iyinto ethunyelwe ezithunzini ezimnyama. Le nto enkulu yebony bbw, enomoya we-fetish, iqala ukungena kwe-dildo okugqamuzeka njengesilondolo esidakile, izimpelo zayo ezibhobhozi zicwebezela njengezinkanyezi emthethweni ongemthetho. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kungumsebenzi we-semen, iskrini sayo sikhanya elingcolile lesifiso, futhi yini uma ayilwi nama-escapades agobayo e-nadia_bliss—le mfihlakalo emhlophe ihlanganisa izimpelo njengokuhlaziya entofeni kaSatan. I-nadia_bliss iphinda kusukela kuma-nudes angajwayelekile kuya kuma-insertions abhuquzayo njengesixuku sezinyosi ezihlanyayo, ilwa ngokuzolile ne-IndigoMystique—enye iqhuma njengemifula yasemkhathini, enye ihlala ezandleni namadolo njengesilo esikhuluma. Ngiqothukile lapha; lokhu kuyiqiniso, noma ngifake into eyenza i-joe yam ibe ne-trippy? Ukuphikisa okushesha: i-lau__1, enye i-kinkster yomuntu omhlophe we-teen, igoba ngokungaphezi, ingxenye yangemuva kwayo iyindlu engcwele yokuzama, izinto zokudlala zingena ngaphakathi njengemishini engcolile, zibuyela emuva kuma-anal quests e-Marry_Cordy awavusa lonke ukuthanda ngemuva.

Ngaphandle kwamasiko: Cabanga uHunter S. Thompson engena ngokungazelelwe epatini kaLarry Flynt ephonswe uSalvador Dali, no-eva_m1racle_ njengomphathi we-blonde bbw, umfudumo wayo uqhuma kwe-toy dives kanye nemisebenzi yomlomo yabambili evusa i-Twin Peaks—uma ishiya imfihlakalo ukuze kukhone ama-climaxes amaningi. Iqala ukuswayiza ngokugqoka izingubo, bese ingena ebungqongqutheleni, ilwa ne-gradual builds yama-Cutiepiespanks—le nye i-blonde teen bbw ingena ngokuzolile igqoke izingubo, inyusa kuma-clamps kanye nemiswayizo esheshayo egqubuzela njengesitimela esibalelwa. Imimoya yabo ibhabhadisa enye ngomunye: i-eva_m1racle_ ingaphandle kwezifuba ngokuzolile ngokumelene nama-shows ezinyawo e-Cutiepiespanks, zombili zihlanganisa kwi-Latina petite ass saga yama-giselle_js, izinto zokudlala zibeka njengezinto ezibekwayo emgodini. I-giselle_js kanye nokuthanda kwayo ingxenye yemuva kuyahlukanisa konke—ukuswayiza kwezimpelo kwayo kubonisa imiboniso e-glossybabe_, ama-nudes ayo angajwayelekile eyiphuza ngaphambi kwama-dark blasts e-ana_maria11.

Ukuphikisa okuphendukile: Uma lo mkhahlelo wehora 24 we-cam wawungadina, wawungumkhuba we-apula ezingekho emthethweni ezicwecwe ngophethiloli wendiza, ziphonswe ezitrayini zobungqongquthela obuphelele. Mimi? Ingulube esendlwini yokudla, ngiphefumula kodwa ngibheka okwengeziwe. Ngempela, uma i-Marry_Cordy—ingcwaba noma nje ukuphikisa kwe-caps?—ingena emigobeni yayo ye-kink kanye nokungena, kungathi imema umdali wokuqala kwi-butt-off, zombili izintombi ezimhlophe zihlikihla ngezinto zokudlala ezibhobhoza njengezinkomo zenkosi ezingenela idwala elithambile kakhulu, lohlobo olubika ngokubika.

Ukuvala leli phupho elibi—kuyilapho lujikeleza kuze kube phakade, akunjalo?—ama-damp lounges e-vanandjuani abuyela emuva kuma-bare hugs e-westworldcouple, umkhuku wobuyeko obungqongquthela obenza ngingabaze ukuphila ngokwako. Ukuncintisana kwaguquka, izindaba zaxube njengezinyamazane ezishisayo, izifaniso zihlanganisa zaba amagodini angenangqondo. Kusukela ekungeneleni okudliwayo (izinto zokudlala njengamabutho ama-hot links) kuya ezigqebeni ezinkulu (ukugxumela okunamathela kunokuphela kobukhosi basendulo), lokhu kwakuyincwadi ye-cam esikhulile ngama-steroids. Ngikhathele, abantu—nikhiphe i-brain scrub kanye ne-shrink. Noma cha; ngingase ngibuyele ngokungena. Ukubala amagama? Yishaya yona uma umhlaba uselokhu uqothuliwe.