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AKA Mia

I'm slim ;-). Search and maybe you'll find nope on my body.

I am 29yo. Currently i live in Happyland!!.

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FOR THOSE WHO WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO ME OR WHERE I AM.... I started in CB with the desire to buy a house for my family. I was not thinking of myself, but of my family, of their well-being. Of course, I was also looking for a better future, and I thought of raising money to be able to emigrate to a place where I could develop my professional career. In Colombia I had a good job, but this was not very well paid and therefore I could not cover basic expenses, my University and even less to be able to buy the desired house for my family. So my plan was to first quit my job and then become a web cam model.

And that's how I started my work at cb. One day before going online for the first time, I cried a lot because it was like the antithesis of everything I had tried to achieve as a woman and in my professional life as well. I remember that before starting I took a selfie that I sent to my best friend. I told him, -keep this photo because I feel that I will enter a world that I don't know. It fills me with fear, I don't know what I'm going to find there and maybe that will change me.

The first months were very complicated because I was very shy and fearful. I tried to chat with people so I could feel better. I took advice from a web cam studio first, I remember that they explained to me that to create a character, I need to separate the character from my real life. They told me that I chatted too much with people, that the web cam was not for that, that this was an sexy/sexual show.

For that reason, I created a character: for example, I have never danced in my life but I gave that to the character and I danced every day online. I was learning and I was incorporating sensuality and eroticity into the character (of course all this was very difficult for me to achieve). But despite everything, I was able to keep the one thing that was always easy and natural for me: talking to people, smiling, making jokes and even listening to their stories. Also being able to share a couple of my stories, as well as trying to help people, since I had access to more income.

You begin to realize that this is becoming a nightmare. This begins to affect you in every aspect of your life. You read many comments that hurt you. Some people send you photos on social media that you don't ask for it. Some guys treat you like an object or simply treat you badly. Read and see all kinds of things every day that affect your daily life. You don't get to understand why you ended up agreeing to something that you would never do, but that you end up accepting to achieve a goal. Then, when you look back, you realize that you are selling your body and even your integrity.

For the last few days, while feeling ill, I have been reflecting on all these things. My plan this year was to work 2 shifts and finish saving money to buy a house for my family. However, I feel that all this weight that I have been carrying for long has hurt me a lot. I dragged this pain for a long time... Now, I just want to try to recover my essence, my life, with the guidance of God. Follow his path and the plans he has for me. This time, I will try to buy a house and achieve all my dreams in another way and not through the web cam...

I'm pretty sure that many girls in this country are web cam models no because they want to but because of a lack of opportunity. Colombia is the second country in virtual prostitution in the world with at least 100,000 web cam women. Mostly women in vulnerable situations, unemployed, single mothers.. When I analyze that figure, this goes from being empowerment and economic independence to a bigger social problem that brings with it immeasurable emotional instability. As a user, you may not notice it, but for girls who are in front of a camera for hours, there are countless things that hurt them.

I am leaving this industry without the house that I promised my family hahaha...with many gaps that I still need to fill, a couple of traumas, (I have never believed in depression or anxiety; I always thought that this was a matter of attitude but when you accumulated so much pain and unwanted things in your life you start realizing that this is real). I leave, but I live with God on my side. I know I can mend my mistakes, get another job, and return to the path that I consider correct. I am also very grateful that I met great friends and good people who accompanied me when I felt down and alone. They cared a lot about my things, my studies, my day, they supported my initiatives, they made me sing and laugh. They even make me play guitar air haha and they supported what I considered "my job" at the moment...

I hope to greet you here again to tell you some details about how my life is going or to hear from you adn practice english, I still have my instagram account Mia_BC_ if you want to say goodbye or ask me something... or if you want to leave me a message here in cb i will check it sometimes... I hope that you always remember my words? before my name! WITH ALL MY LOVE: Mia.