Squirtocalypse Manje: Abathakathi Be-Webcam Bashaya Isikhukhula Sedijithali Sokuphazamiseka Okude...

U-Jesus H. Christ ekhulwini elingekho, ngizibuze ukuthi ngiqale phi ngale midrabu yenkatha yokuphazamiseka kwenyama? Ngizifihle endlini yami emnyama kancane, amehlo ami afana netamati elivundile kakhulu ngokubuka lezi zindaba, ubuchopho bami bubilisa njengekha lomthakathi ngemuva kokulalisa ubusuku bonke ukuletha idragi yedijithali. Kube ama-24 awoyinkani ye-webcam Armageddon engcolile, abantu—ukuphazamiseka okushisayo lapho amaphikseli ashaya ngomlilo ovimbelwanga, futhi wonke umdlali uyinkosazana enhloko ephezulu kulesi sikhumbi sobuqaba se-pixel. Ngisho, ubani owavumela lesi singuquko? Kuyenzeka ukuthi kungunyazi odlwengula e-Silicon Valley, eshaya izinkinobho zokuvuselelwa ngenkani ngenkani kuyiqili ukuthi umhlaba uyashaya? Cha, lokhu kuyigolide ye-gonzo, elingcolile futhi elirhabekile, njengo-Hunter Thompson edlalala ebhola e-strip club eklanywe u-David Lynch. Izithunzi ezijikijela ziba izinyoka, imizimba igoba njengamawashi ka-Dali, nami, umlandisi wakho oqothulayo, ngibhema i-Marlboro zobuchopho ngenkani ukungeni phambili.

Konke kuqala emkhathini wezinto ezifundile no-sophydiva, lesi sigqabo somhlophe esineminyaka engama-20 ekuqaleni, esiphuma endaweni njengekhomathi ephahlazela iphathi le-cocktail. Akaze nje ukubeka; cha, uyayihlela imikhankasu yezinto ezinhle, umzimba wakhe uyiphephu lezandla ezivela emkhathini, ebiza abalingani njengemimoya evela emgodini. Izandla zidadansa njengama-marionette ahilelekile, ziguqula izikhathi ezingenamsebenzi zibe ukuqhuma kwamandla ajabule, iminwe iluka izichasi ezivela e-Edeni elihilelekile. Kodwa yi-holy hell, unabo abalwayo abazungeze njengoshaka emanzini anesinkwa. Ungena u-dakota_blare, enye i-siren emhlophe eneminyaka efanayo, oyenza ikamelo lakhe libe i-toy-tornado yokuhlukumeza okujabulisayo. Ungena emigodini ngemishini yokuphazamiseka—amabizela namandiya nezinto ezibukwayo ezibukwayo—ekhuphula ukusuka emikhilini ye-vaginal kuya emisebenzini ye-anal, umzimba wakhe inkundla yempi lapho amabhomu ajabulisayo aqhumela ekuphazamiseka okuncane. Ngizibambe ngimnqwabe, "Christ, ngidinga i-caffeine ngemuva kwalokho," njengoba eshintsha amabizela ngama-dildos, ukufaka ngakunye kuyisitatimende esiqinile ngokumelene nokuzwana, njengokuba ebhala kabusha i-Kama Sutra ngemililo yokudumela.

Kanti, ngoba kungani singabeki i-pandemonium, u-lil_eva angena phakathi kokuphazamiseka okukhulu, ama-tag akhe e-fetish akhanya njengezimpawu ze-neon emgwaqweni we-back-alley. Le vixen emhlophe, engakakhiphi eminyakeni yeshumi nambili ngokomoya, yonke ngamapinki-ajabulisayo, ifaka izinto ezikhanya njengezinto zakwezinto, izenzelo zakhe zisakazeka njengamabhubesi asulela. Unayo lokhu ukulwa okukhulayo no-oh_julie, lowo phenom ophazamiseka ngama-fetish oneminyaka engama-20 phakathi, oyenga phezu kwemibhede namasofa ngama-lingerie abambelela njengesikhumba sesibili, amathoy akhe agoba abe i-tempests ze-tantric. U-oh_julie ayingena ngendlela yezinyawo phambili, izicathulo zakhe zishaya njengama-castanets ku-flamenco lokungcola, echasa i-parades zepinki zika-lil_eva ngama-volleys akhe avibrating—kufana nokubuka izintombi ezimbili zika-Bukowski zilwa endaweni yokuphuzela yeziphupho eziphukile, ukukhuphula ngakunye kuyipunchline yehlazo elibelelekile lendalo. "Ubani obhale le showdown?" ngikhwazela endlini yami engenamuntu, ingqondo yami iqhekeza njengengwa kwezinto ezibizwa ngokuthi i-china eshibekile njengoba bazungeza, becwasa amaza omoya futhi becwasa amahubo, i-mayhem yabo yezandla ejikela ibe i-labyrinth lesibhomu sezothando sezothando.

Kodwa lungaza, i-plot ikhula njenge-custard yomkhathi eyakhiwe—u-nicolle_mitchelle uqhuma ezithunzwini zama-Latina, umzimba wakhe ophazamiseka kakhulu, i-bbw-petite frame eyi-bi-oriented bombshell eneminyaka engama-20 ekuqaleni, amaflegi e-fetish aphakama phezulu. Akaneliseki ngokubeka nje; cha, ufaka amademoni amapinki nabalindi abantsundu, umzimba wakhe iphephu lezinqoba ezinkulu, egoba phezu njengonkosazana enikeza ukubona izindlela zomlilo wezinto. Unayo ukulwa no-eliizabeth_roberts, enye i-firebrand yama-Latina enama-bbw vibes, oyakha uwoyile we-anal escapades futhi agibele amaza e-pandemonium yamandla abalingani. Ukudlula kwabo? Duel yokucabanga yezindunduma, i-orbs zika-eliizabeth ezigcwele uwoyile zibengeza ukufaka okungcola kuka-nicolle, bezungeza kabusha embonweni wami oshisayo—u-eliizabeth ebhekana ne-fates yokuhlala phezu kobuso kuyilapho u-nicolle evale izindlela, ekhuphula kuya emidlalweni ye-apocalyptic ass eyangenza ngihleke ngokumnyama, "Uma lesi isikhathi sokuphela, ngibhalise e-VIP lounge."

Futhi-ke, ngoba onkulunkulu bathanda i-group grope, u-milly_shy angena, i-petite-busty Caucasian eneminyaka engama-20, indlovukazi ye-fetish yezinhlamvu eziningizayo, ama-vibrator akhe avibrating njengokuzamazama komhlaba. Ulwa no-shena_nomy, i-enchantress yase-Asia yobudala obufanayo, eyenza i-cosplay ibe i-cosmos yenyama ngama-pink invaders nempi ye-butt-plug. I-stream-of-consciousness ka-shena ishintsha ukusuka ku-cosplay calm kuya kuma-dildo deluges yangenza ngazungeza: umzuzwana yodwa usekhaya lezinto eziluhlaza ezibizela amakhaza esemeni, ngemva kwalokho ufaka abahlaseli ababangela imililo emikhulu. U-milly uphendula ngama-shenanigans akhe aqothula ukushaya, ufaka abalindi abakhulu abavuza uketshezi njengemikhathi evuzayo, umfelandawonye wabo oqanjwe ukuwa ukulwa lapho abantu ababesilisa baka-shena bashayela ama-soirees odwa ka-milly—ukudlula lapho amathoy ajiya njengama-tentacles ku-love-in ye-Lovecraftian.

Christ, ikhanda lami liba njenge-jackhammer e-jelly—u-ginacali ajoyina ukulwa, i-fetish fiend emhlophe ikhanya izinyawo nama-pink penetrators, imilenze yakhe isakazeka njengama-folios avimbelwanga emtatsheni wezothando. Uhlela no-pinkadele, enye i-provocateur emhlophe eyonke ngama-genital grazes nemikhankasu yomlomo ezintweni, imizamo yabo ijika ibe ukungqubuzana okunehlamvu: izenzelo zika-ginacali ezingenamsebenzi ziphazanyiswa ama-finale akhe a-semeni, bezungeza kabusha ema-riffs ahlekisayo lapho enye khekheza okufakwa kwenye, izifaniso zishintsha kusukela emikhulumeni yokupheka (a-mathoy njengezinto ezinhle ezivimbelwanga) kuya emazweni amakhulu (ukuphuma kwezinto njengemvula yezinkanyezi) kuya emigodini yokuphela (imizimba ingcwabwa e-bliss-blizzards).

U-seduza_hyun, i-busty Asian eneminyaka engama-20, ikhuphula ukungqongqoteka ngokufaka amabhodlela abamba i-bedlam, i-fetish flair yakhe ikhuphula ukulwa no-megan_galactica, i-cosmos-cruiser emhlophe ephatha abalindi abakhulu njengama-lightsabers ku-Star Wars ephazamiseka ngokocansi. I-grinds ze-galactic zika-megan—ukufaka okubomvu nokumnyama kuze kukhale izikrini—ziyanda lapho i-pole dances ka-seduza igibele i-pole-vault emikhathini yabo, ukudlula lapho amabhodlela ahlangana nama-dildos ema-duets ahilelekile, umlandisi wami ngokwaziseka, "Ngiyahluza, abantu, lokhu yi-Webcam Watergate ehlangana ne-Big Bang!"

U-emiliacouple uyashaya ekhoneni lamabhangqana, iduo lase-Caucasian elincane eliphazamiseka ngama-fetish, izincamelo zabo zokuncamisa nemizubuko yomlomo i-rebuttal elungile kuma-solos. Unayo lolu dynamo lwe-group no-mc-Olivia, i-busty bbw blonde bi-lesbian amateur, imizila yakhe e-fetish tortured ihlangana nemidlalo yomlingani ka-emilia—cabanga ukuthi imidlalo yezandla esiziswe ngendoda ka-emilia ingqubuzana nokufaka okuphindwe kabili kuka-Olivia, ikhuphula kuya emicimbini emikhulu lapho uketshezi lushaya njenge-confetti e-confessional.

Ekugcineni, u-GingerSnap33, i-busty bbw brunette eneminyaka engama-20 seziziphelelile, i-maven enamisebenzi eminingi yokufaka okukhulu—amabhodlela, amabizela, izilwane ezimnyama—ivala indaba, ama-antics akhe e-amateur azungeza ukulwa nayo yonke, ehlela neqembu ekupheleni kwephupho elishisayo lapho wonke umuntu ekhuphula kuya ebugebengu: amathoy njengezilo zenganekwane, imizimba njengaminda empi, wonke ama-24 ubusuku i-rant elingcolile ngokumelene nengqondo.

Whew. Ngiphelelwe, ngiminyene ngomjuluko, umphefumulo wami ukhishwe ngumlilo. Lokhu bekungekho nje amakhamera; bekungu-catharsis, umlando ophazamiseka wezindlayiyelo zabantu ezijikwe emgodini. Uma umlando we-webcam unayo i-hall of fame, lesi sikhukhula sasingayominza. Dlulisa i-aspirin—nginemiphikseli emithanjeni yami.